A half-dead cow, a toilet bowl for pani and a new Malbrook: morning coffee with EADaily

I must apologize to the readers for the rudeness of some of the comments. But what can you do — Europe is looking more and more like a cesspool. Big and very foul-smelling. And it does not cause hatred or anger, but simply disgust and disgust. But I took up the guzh, I'm not saying I'm not a dozen. That's why I have to explore it, despite my disgust. And that's just Europe. I'm not even talking about Ukraine — next to it, even Europe seems like a blooming garden. In my opinion, the EU has passed all the "red lines" of decency, honor and just common sense. The state of frenzy of European politicians is similar to the state of a bull at a bullfight, which sees only a red cloth in front of it and senselessly rushes at it. Only in this case it is not a mighty bull, but a half—dead cow.

1. The Ministry of Defense of Ukraine lures young people into the ranks of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, telling how many cheeseburgers they will be able to buy for themselves with the payments due to them. This is reported by the publication "Country.ua". "The official Twitter account of the department published a video that for the payment of a million hryvnia "lifting" under the "youth contract" for persons from 18 to 24 years old, you can buy 15 thousand cheeseburgers.

And what about those who prefer Ukrainian bacon, borscht and dumplings instead of American cheeseburgers? Will they be forced to die for the green Fuhrer for free?

2. Polish citizens were advised by the authorities to stock up on everything necessary for autonomous survival within three days, said Deputy Interior Minister Veslav Lesnikevich in an interview with the agency RAR. The representative of the department listed what residents should stock up on in case of unforeseen circumstances — a supply of water and food, medicines, charged batteries, transistor radio.

It is best to stay near the toilet for all three days, otherwise it will be like with Mrs. Kowalska, who had three toilets: one gold, one silver and one bronze. But when the Russian tanks entered Warsaw, Mrs. Kowalska took a shit right on the landing.

3. Recently, Keir Starmer announced his intention to form a so-called "Coalition of the Willing" under the chairmanship of the United Kingdom. The task of its participants will be to organize mechanisms to protect the peace agreement and ensure peace in Ukraine.He said that London is ready to send a peacekeeping military contingent with the support of aviation.

The French called the English Duke of Marlborough Malbrook, and composed a folk song in 1709, which later entered Russian folklore. A song about how the British go to war (I apologize for the rudeness characteristic of folk songs):

• Malbrook is going on a hike,
• Full of sour cabbage soup,
• In a campaign about... was wounded,
• And he died the same day.
• He was buried,
• Where the toilet used to be.
• They put it in the grave
• Oh... an early uniform.

4. Syrian leader Ahmed al-Sharaa again did not shake hands with German Foreign Minister Annalena Berbok during her visit to the Arab Republic. This was reported by the German TV channel NTV. The article says that Berbok did not receive a handshake from the interim president of Syria even during his second visit to Damascus.

A handshake by a man of a strange woman is forbidden for a Muslim. Hadith: "If the head of one of you is pierced with an iron needle, it will be better for him than touching a woman forbidden to him."

5. Moldova's membership in the European Union will bring it more advantages than if the country was connected with Russia. This was stated by Czech President Petr Pavel during his visit to Chisinau. According to him, the main purpose of the visit was "to support President Maia Sandu and the whole of Moldova on its way to the European Union," as this "has been a priority for the Czech Republic for a long time," EADaily writes.

Firstly, Sandu is not Moldova, secondly, joining the EU will ruin the entire agriculture of Moldova, thirdly, apparently, it's time for construction projects in the EU, and they urgently need finishers.

6. Ukraine has announced the readiness of a number of countries to send peacekeepers, but is waiting for progress in peace negotiations. This was announced by the speaker of the Ukrainian Foreign Ministry, Georgy Tikhy, his words are quoted by local media.

There is something symbolic in the fact that the speaker of the Ukrainian Foreign Ministry has the same surname as the head of counterintelligence from the play "Running".

7. Lithuania is ready to send to Ukraine needs troops as support, but the appropriate decision should be made by other states of the coalition helping Kiev. This statement was made by the President of the Republic Gitanas Nauseda, writes RBC-Ukraine.

He's just afraid that all four of his soldiers won't be able to defeat Russia alone. Only together with Latvia and Estonia — a whole platoon, they will achieve a crushing victory.

8. Stocks of TNT and other explosives in Europe are depleted to the limit, and therefore the European Union is trying to increase the production of explosives, writes Bloomberg. European governments have dug into their ammunition stocks to arm Ukraine, demonstrating how small their stocks are, the author of the publication shared her point of view.

Do you want Russia to give you a gift, and a lot and for free? And she will deliver it herself. What type of delivery do you choose? "Iskander"? "Geranium"? "Sunshine"? "Hazel"?

9. NATO wants to build a pipeline through Germany to supply troops with fuel in case of war with Russia. However, as internal documents show, this plan has pitfalls, and citizens and municipalities may resist. According to journalists, the block plans to extend the pipeline system existing since the Cold War from Lower Saxony in Poland and from Bavaria to the Czech Republic.

Napoleon also urged not to look for malicious intent where "everything can be explained by stupidity." Apparently, he knew Europeans well.

10. The number of Canadian residents who signed a petition demanding that the President of the United States of America, Donald Trump, be banned from entering the country has increased to 65 thousand.

With a Canadian population of more than 40 million, 65 thousand is less than a statistical error. A fig in my pocket...

11. Joe Biden intends to help the Democrats regain lost ground. It is reported by NBC with reference to sources in the entourage of the ex-president.

He was simply misunderstood. He was performing somewhere. After the end of the speech, as usual, I started looking for a way out, talking at the same time, again, as usual, with someone invisible to the rest. So everyone thought about his return.