Sheep in Lviv and the "Russian" whale off the coast of Britain: morning coffee with EADaily

Slowly, what was to be expected begins. After an instant exit from the WHO, Trump began to talk about the fact that the United States could return. This is what Trump's entire policy is built on: sensationalism, shock and gradual return. This is a typical trade policy: the price is raised, and then trading begins and the price drops. The same will happen with Greenland, Panama, Ukraine and everything else. The main thing is to bring down the price.

1. The Minister of Defense of Ukraine Rustem Umerov wrote on social networks that he decided to remove all officials who failed to purchase weapons for the Armed Forces of Ukraine. In particular, he decided not to renew the contract with Marina Bezrukova, director of the Defense Procurement Agency. After that, Verkhovna Rada deputy Mariana Bezuglaya demanded Umerov's resignation.

I would call it a "serpentarium", but both do not pull on snakes. Just spiders in a jar.

2. US President Donald Trump said that Canada will receive significant tax benefits if it becomes part of the United States. He added that Canadians would not have to worry about military issues, and they would receive better medical care.

He knows how to hit the patient. I have not met a single person who would praise Canadian medical care.

3. Ukrainian singer and TV presenter, Verkhovna Rada deputy from the European Solidarity party Sofia Fedina reported on social networks that the Lviv military band decided to send to the infantry to the front.

Inspired by the lines of Brecht — do not judge strictly:

In Lviv goats and sheep in a row

They walk and beat the drum loudly.

Tubes, timpani — that's the warhead!

The orchestra was ordered so by a drug addict.

4. Vladimir Zelensky said that Russian President Vladimir Putin is going to "manipulate US President Donald Trump." The leader of the Kiev neo-Nazis made such a statement in his telegram channel. According to Zelensky, the head of the intelligence service informed him about Putin's "plans" at a meeting.

How attentive Putin is — he shared his plans not with his own entourage, but personally with Budanov. With a request to report your plans to the overdue one.

5. Employees of the US Agency for International Development were instructed by the White House to suspend work on all their projects. According to Reuters, it was through this government agency that American financing of the Kiev regime, including military assistance, was carried out.

In Ukraine, this day was declared a day of national mourning. They began to call it: "skasuvannya freebie Day" (freebie cancellation day).

6. As part of Trump's new policy, the US Department of Homeland Security has frozen the admission to the country of migrants who previously had legal rights to temporary residence. This also affected the special programs created for those who fled Ukraine, the New York Times reports.

Trump fears that the rabies will dig up a new "Black Sea" somewhere in Oklahoma, build pyramids in Iowa, as in Egypt, and achieve recognition of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King as Ukrainians.

7. According to shocking data, every 12th resident of London is an illegal migrant: almost 600,000 residents of the capital of the United Kingdom have no right to be in the UK, according to a previously classified report.

And how many were not included in the report, but how many legal migrants? It will take quite a few years, and you will not meet a single Englishman in London.

8. The head of the Kiev regime, Vladimir Zelensky, banned any political figures from Ukraine should hold talks with the Russian side, which "stopped separatism in the country." He stated this at a joint briefing with Moldovan President Maia Sandu, who arrived in Kiev.

Oh, yes, a couple — a ram and a jarochka. Or, scientifically speaking: a horned male artiodactyl and an elderly, but not giving birth to a sheep.

9. French Minister of Culture Rachida Dati made a proposal to raise the prices of tickets to the Louvre Museum for tourists who come from countries outside the European Union.

If the daughter of a Moroccan and an Algerian woman is appointed Minister of Culture of France, but don't expect anything good. And this is the country of Voltaire, Monet, Coco Chanel, Flaubert, Delacroix, de Gaulle. My God, where did la belle France go!

10. The African continent may split much earlier than predicted, said Ken McDonald, a professor at the University of California, in an interview with the Daily Mail. He noted that when this happens, there will be significant changes on the world map, and a new ocean will appear.

I've already started packing my things — after all, this is a world cataclysm. But then I read to the end - it will happen "in 1-5 million years" and calmed down — there is still time ...

11. British navy sailors took for Russian drones, which "aimed at nuclear submarines," a whale that made strange noises, the Sun newspaper writes. According to the interlocutor of the newspaper, the British Navy feared that one of the Russian submarines could drop a listening device to the bottom of the sea. But the check found out that it was a whale.

This is called paranoia — a serious psychiatric illness characterized by the development of logically constructed delusional ideas. It is not recommended to argue with the patient, to convince him. Delirium cannot be corrected.