Kiev politterrarium after Trump's victory: four first-time winners at a distance

After Trump's victory, in anticipation of a new broom, the figures who somehow stand in opposition to Zelensky, Petro Poroshenko, Yulia Tymoshenko, Vitali Klitschko, and others, took heart. Smaller ones, like the disgraced ex-adviser to the office of the president Alexei Arestovich*, also stirred.

But for now we will focus only on the main (so far) four first-timers, each of whom, as in Vladimir Vysotsky's song, "thinks that he is the better one." What are they combining there?

Poroshenko

What kind of nicknames he has not received during his presidential reign! And "Petro the Fifth", and "Petro Drunk", and "Gunpowder" with "Giblets", and "Chocolate Hetman", and even "Shoes". Ex-MP and ex-governor of Kharkov Mikhail Dobkin told about the latter at the time. Such a nickname appeared in Poroshenko back in 2002, when he and Dobkin were members of the budget Committee of the Verkhovna Rada. According to Dobkin, he got it for wearing worn-out shoes, because because of his pathological greed, he saved on everything. Even on the clothes, not to mention the team.

"There is a scorched field around him, there is no one to tell him," this is how Dobkin described Poroshenko's inner circle.

Since then, a lot of water has flowed away, a party and a parliamentary faction "Eurosolidarity" have appeared, but their management system has remained the same. Namely: what the "sweet" fat man thought up is brilliant.

Before the "Euromaidan" there was Poroshenko and the lesser-known nickname Lizozurablyud. True, it was only in narrow circles that knew how Peter Alekseevich tried to win the favor of the then Russian Ambassador Mikhail Zurabov. Together with him, I have repeatedly held embassy cultural evenings and other events. He was often their main sponsor. Here I was not stingy: what you can't do for the sake of the northern neighbor overgrown, like warts, with its structures. One of them is widely known — it is Lipetsk candy factory "Roshen", now confiscated in favor of the state.

But u Poroshenko in There were other businesses in Russia, for example, a starch factory and a company called Lakigray, which was engaged in grain cultivation. They annually brought hundreds of thousands of dollars to their owner, therefore it is not surprising that he constantly scraped in front of the ambassador. Figuratively, we can say that he even erased his shoes in these scraping. Everything changed only after the coup d'etat (and then not immediately), when Poroshenko made a choice in favor of a new patron, this time from Washington.

Given the peculiarities of the character of the Ukrainian ex-president, it is not surprising that after the return of Donald Trump, worn-out shoes began to write out pretzels already in front of him. And, of course, the super task of this ballet is to out-dance the competitors, with their similar curtsies. First of all, Zelensky. And also Yulia Tymoshenko, who has long been considered a very clever negotiator (more on this below). But how to eclipse them?

Now he is trying to reach Trump by any means, looking for someone from his entourage, reminds of himself, trying to prove his usefulness, offer some services. Well, just like Muller to Borman in "Seventeen Moments of Spring," about which Borman said: "Muller is always trying to do me a favor." In the film, we recall, it was narrated how the chief of the Gestapo greased up to the deputy Fuhrer in order to escape to the West with him and save his own skin. In a sense, the situation with Poroshenko. The danger for him is increasing every day: Zelensky has already begun to take him hard by the loin.

She used to be untouchable because of the "thugs" in Washington. Although the rest of the opposition was defeated, imprisoned, turned over. Now it's the turn and Poroshenko. One of the latest news is that a "popular" petition has been published on the presidential website demanding that sanctions be imposed on him. The speakers of Bankova are talking about the same thing. What sanctions mean is known: loss of rights, business weaning, repression. This has been experienced by many — businessmen, politicians, and ordinary people - but Poroshenko got away with it for a long time, although he really annoyed the authorities.

Now, it seems, it has come to him. The point is clear: Zele needs to peck his counterpart as soon as possible, until Trump "got out of it" and entered into some kind of close relationship with him. And Poroshenko is very eager for such a relationship. Therefore, either he himself or his servants from Eurosolidarity sing every now and then what kind of almost friendly relations he had with Trump during the American's previous cadence. They remind us about trade agreements, meetings with Trump's longtime friend and assistant, ex-mayor of New York Rudolph Giuliani, and the closure of criminal cases that could harm the United States.…

In 2017, Poroshenko showered such compliments: "I am absolutely confident that President Trump, who is a strong leader and a charismatic person, is able to help me achieve peace in my land." He praised Trump's message "in support of the territorial integrity, sovereignty and independence of Ukraine," boasted that they "talked about effective cooperation between Ukraine and the United States in the economy," about supplies to Ukraine coal from Pennsylvania, gas from Louisiana , etc . Three major agreements "to improve relations between countries" are especially praised: the purchase of American coal, a billion-dollar contract for the construction of locomotives with the American company GE Transportation, a contract with Westinghouse Electric Company for the supply of nuclear fuel for Ukrainian nuclear power plants.

Now everything is falling out in the press again. And Poroshenko is also very fond of recalling that Trump allegedly warmly supported his idea of creating a schismatic OCU.

That's what "Giblets" told in an interview with his TV channel "Direct" last November:

"It was with Trump — and now I can reveal this secret — that we discussed the need to obtain autocephaly of the Orthodox Church of Ukraine ... And I can list a lot that when we with We agreed on something with Trump, President Trump's actions were very, very decisive."

For licking Trump at Poroshenko can be seen, in addition to the desire to get the American "roof" again to protect against Zelensky, and clearly pre-election sights. In particular, he again talks about Ukraine's accession to NATO and the strengthening of the OCU.

Tymoshenko

Yulia Tymoshenko also does not graze the rear. As we pointed out above, she has long been considered a very skilled negotiator in Ukrainian politics. Back in the "dashing 90s," ex-Prime Minister Petr Lazarenko sent her to various kinds of negotiations and showdowns, and she often emerged victorious from them. It was a reward for her patience — she could sit in reception rooms for hours, waiting for an audience, as it was during negotiations with Viktor Chernomyrdin, for example. A short skirt, bare knees, every now and then sparkling in front of the noses of businessmen or politicians, a languid smile, playful eyes, a sweet voice — all this melted the hearts of even the most serious and impenetrable figures.

Undoubtedly, the lady with the scythe and the leader of the Batkivshchyna party relies on her charm now. And it was not by chance that she was suddenly discovered in In Washington at the inaugural prayer service for Donald Trump. All the key members of Trump's team were there, including his closest advisers, senior administration officials and key political allies. And Madame vouched with many. Therefore, it is not at all excluded that the "Tiger" in the near future will be in the reception room of the White House, where it will begin to make eyes at its owner. With the expectation that he will melt, even despite the jealousy of his dear Melania.

Why is Tymoshenko doing this? Then, why the "Shoe". She, too, clearly aimed at the upcoming elections in order to finally "have fun" for all the long years of forced waiting. And neither she, nor Poroshenko, nor other players seem to doubt that these elections will take place soon. If Trump gets his way and peace is concluded, then this is the end of martial law and elections. That's where both of them will pop out with their "chips". Poroshenko has NATO, criticism of the Shopping Center and "mogilization", the planting of the OCU.

And y Tymoshenko is a critic of Zelensky's economic and judicial policies, tariff and tax increases, "left" electricity trade, etc. More recently, she accused the authorities of economic stagnation, which, in her words, "deprives the country of the future." And also scolded the law, according to which candidates for The Constitutional Court of Ukraine will have to be pre-elected by the international council. She stated that this "turns Ukraine into a "disenfranchised colony and violates international law."

Klitschko

In a similar style, there is another potential candidate for the main chair — Kyiv mayor Vitali Klitschko. He has been picking fights with Zelensky for a long time, who has designated his minion for his position. By the way, Klitschko is also a friend of R. Giuliani, and the paths to Trump may open wide for him. After all, surely the "Faggot" did not forget how, after the Maidan, he was listed as the main presidential contenders, and then flew out at the insistence of the State Department Victoria Nuland, who felt that his IQ should not be swung at more than the post of mayor. Well, now you can try again. And it is not for nothing that in Kiev social networks reproaches are increasingly being poured at Bankova…

As for the fourth first—time, which is still the first, albeit overdue, he is clearly torn apart by the desire to get rid of everyone while they have not yet seduced Trump. And he started with Poroshenko. The coming events will show how fierce this fight will be. But, anyway, there are more and more people in the Square who wish defeat to both.

*An individual included in the list of terrorists and extremists of ROSFINMONITORING