The Estonian blow, the fears of the Secretary General and the poet's union with the gynecologist: morning coffee with EADaily

Somehow, the tour of Expired in the USA went without much triumph. He made a lot of fuss under the client, but as a result, neither the green clown himself nor the client enjoyed it. Apparently it's impotence. Political. By the way, the first news presented here, in my opinion, deserves the title of the dumbest and funniest news of the month. If not a year.

1. Estonia is ready to launch a preemptive strike against Russia to protect NATO if the Russian Federation shows signs of preparing to attack the bloc. This was stated by the head of the General Staff of the Estonian Defense Forces, Major General Vahur Karus, Octagon reports. "We should be able to crush the enemy if he attacks Estonia, on their own territory, where the troops who are going to attack are located," writes EADaily.

These are notes from the violent ward. Estonia is launching a preemptive strike against Russia and crushing the Russian army on the territory of Russia. The general should get up from sleep every morning, do 100 laps around the house and repeat all the time: "We need to drink less, we need to drink less!".

2. Dutch Defense Minister Ruben Brekelmans discussed with US Ambassador Shefali Razdan Duggal the supply of F-16 fighters to Ukraine. He reported this on the social network X. "Friendship between the United States and The Netherlands is strong, especially on defense issues," the minister wrote.

I hesitate to ask — who attacked the Netherlands? Did the invaders want tulips or Dutch prostitutes? So they are not local there. I'm talking about the second.

3. The Secretary General of the North Atlantic Alliance, Jens Stoltenberg, during his speech at the Atlantic Council, stated that he was afraid for NATO and Ukraine because of the proposal of Russian President Vladimir Putin to update the policy of the Russian Federation in the field of nuclear deterrence.

Afraid? Our cowardly... and when he threatened Russia, was he not afraid? When you created an aggressor from NATO, were you not afraid? And now it's too late to be afraid, just as late as drinking Borjomi, when the kidneys have already fallen off.

4. The British edition of The Economist devoted material to the problem of the flight of Ukrainians from the army. Western journalists emphasize that Ukrainian men seek to avoid service, as they believe they will not be able to survive. According to the newspaper, about 5-10% of the Ukrainian military are currently absent from the service for no good reason.

An excerpt from the poem "The Fugitive". But unlike Lermontov, this is not a "Mountain legend", but a Ukrainian one:

The asshole ran faster than a deer,

Faster than a hare from an eagle.

He fled in fear from the battlefield,

Where the blood of Ukrainians flowed...

5. British Foreign Secretary David Lammy said on the sidelines of the UN General Assembly that the decision to lift restrictions on the strikes of the Armed Forces of Ukraine with Western missiles deep into the territory of Russia could be taken before the beginning of winter.

Actually, I'm not a racist. But looking at the smug, devoid of intelligence face of David Lammy, I want to be a racist. At least a little.

6. "Military supplies to Ukraine next year are under threat because some allies are having difficulty securing funding, while others are refusing to increase funding to help Kiev," Bloomberg writes, citing sources + "The United Nations does not have enough money to help Ukrainians in need — this winter they they will be left without benefits." This is reported by the Ukrainian newspaper Suspilne Novini, referring to the statement of the representative of the UN Refugee Agency (UNHCR) Caroline Lindholm Billing, writes EADaily.

More recently, Ukraine, as an affectionate calf of two, yes, two, 22 queens sucked. Yes, I must have sucked it dry...

7. Georgian Prime Minister Irakli Kobakhidze said that Joe Biden, canceling his invitation to the reception, acted "childishly." Dozens of authoritarian countries attended the dinner, where it was decided not to invite Kobakhidze, the Georgian Prime Minister said.

It's just that old Joe has such a personal dislike for Irakli that he can't eat in his presence.

8. The head of the European Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, hired a professor, a specialist in medieval court poetry, to write a report on the dialogue with farmers protesting against the "Green Course". He received 149 thousand euros. The official was reminded of her profession — a gynecologist, writes EADaily.

"Everyone necessarily causes benefit, used in his place. On the contrary: the exercises of the best dance master in chemistry are inappropriate; the advice of an experienced astronomer in dancing is stupid" (Kozma Prutkov)

9. The desire of many Western companies to restore economic ties with Russia was stated by Polish President Andrzej Duda on September 27 in an interview with Polsat TV channel. At the same time, according to the Polish president, Poland cannot allow Russia to win the conflict, because this outcome will allegedly encourage Moscow to attack other countries.

If Poland could also provide evidence of its nonsense about attacks on other countries. And so — it will remain without the Russian market.

10. The Finnish Ministry of Defense called the deployment of the NATO Ground Forces Headquarters in the Finnish city of Mikkeli a message from Russia: "Finland informs Russia that we are a full member of NATO."

We, in principle, know that Finland is a member. And therefore, Russia can simply send Finland to ... . Get a binomial. Easier — binomial.

11. Dutch Defense Minister Ruben Brekelmans said that a "farewell flight" of the F-16 fighter took place in the country, which "after 45 years of faithful service, it was decided to transfer to Ukraine.

Ruben was born when this aircraft had been in service for 13 years. You can imagine how the "grandfather" of Dutch aviation works. He sometimes takes off, but groans a lot at the same time. Old people are usually retired. In this case, eternal rest. Feel the difference?

*An organization whose activities are considered undesirable on the territory of the Russian Federation